Songs That Chain
by whitesash
Summary: I have everything a girl might dream of: a house in Malibu, designer clothes, sports cars and the like, but they have a price. I must fulfill a man's every wish for an entire night every month. But I am not a hooker. I was born this way. I just met Edward, who might save me, but my best friend keeps me in chains. *Finally in the correct category*
1. Chapter 1

When the spotlight hits me, I still turn blind, but at least it is easier to pick my next prey with it. I cannot look at their faces anymore. I don't want to know whose life I take. I just want this to end. Oh, no, my voice is cracking. I need to stop thinking this way. I need to keep on singing. When I look at Ivy, her zest and hunger for men always brings me back to reality. And this is the only reason why I can sing on. We give men our heart and soul, yet all they want is our body. We are made to make all their wishes come true for one night, and they can never come up with anything better than sex. And if this is what they want, then we have to give it to them. Luckily, they don't know the price.

Oh, no, Ivy sees that I'm distracted, and her controlling look always intimidates me. And now she even takes hands and pulls me closer to her until she can touch my hips, and she moves it to lure even more men. I am pulling back, since I have always hated when she does that. It makes me feel cheap, but I have no options. We are running out of time and we need a man tonight. I know that. I just don't want to do that anymore. I love my life, and I don't want to lose it, but it's getting too much for me. Still, Ivy is tenacious, and I'm sure she would never let me go, not even if I knew where or how to get rid of my gift... my curse. She cannot look at my distant expression anymore, so she turns me around, and holds my hips close to hers, and we are moving together on the tiny stage. I remember when dancing used to fill me with ecstasy, especially to such a great Latin music that is so easy to find in LA. Then, I still felt free, and I enjoyed my life. I love it today, as well, but the price is getting too much. It has become a lot more than having fun. When Christina's "Come On Over" first hit karaoke bars, my whole body was filled with joy and energy, but now I cannot even smile while I sing. I can't wait for it to be over and to get off the stage, even if the worst part is coming now.

A couple of handsome men have already been waiting for us by the stairs, with the familiar, mesmerized look. And I need to pick one of them. I have no idea where this sudden pity has come from, but I can no longer bear it. I just want to get it over with, and wake up in the morning, but Ivy has a problem with it. She has always been pickier than me. Now, her slanted, green eyes are wide open, and her cold gaze penetrated my soul... if I still had it. She cocks her head toward the restrooms, and I know I'd better follow her.

"What the hell is going on with you Bella? What was that on the stage? Are you here at all?" Her high-pitched voice makes it hard to tell if she is desperate or mad.

"I don't know, I'm just not in the mood tonight." This explanation won't be enough for her, but I can't come up with a better one. I'm too tired.

"Now look at yourself!" She turns my head to the mirror. The curls that I have made before we left home have disappeared from my blonde hair, and it is just slightly messy now. The low cleavage of my blue sundress shows off my big breasts, so that men could ogle them, since Ivy thinks this is the way to lure even more men. But it is neither my hair, nor my sad blue eyes why she wants me to look at myself. Wrinkles appeared on my forehead this morning, so I've been running out of time. This is the only reason why I joined her tonight.

"I know, Ivy, you made your point earlier when you showed them to me at home." I know that the real reason why she wants me to stay is the white hair in her red bob, since this is what she keeps on secretly glancing at, so I aim to keep my voice as calm as possible.

"Bella, honey, I know how tired you are, but you need this right now. We don't do it because we want to, but because our life is at stake for crying out loud. And if you don't care about yourself, then think about me, as well. We are short on money, and we need to buy a lot of stuff soon. Please, Bella, let's do this. Why don't we have a couple of shots? The whole thing will look better after that, I promise. Please?" Her tone has changed at last, and she finally builds on my guilt. I must give in.

"All right, but just a few shots," I say without much conviction.

She helps me to put on a little lip gloss, and as soon as she opens the door of the restroom, I feel as if an army of men wanted to get me right there. For us, it is normal, but I really wish I could skip it right now. I used to enjoy picking the right one for the night, but it is like a gumball machine now: only one of them can come for the night, and when I have used it all up, I come back for another one. This is why Ivy picks the ones for me for quite a long time. It's too stressful for me, especially when men might look elegant in clothes, but they are far from being a gentleman in private. So, I'm always glad to leave this responsibility to Ivy, who has a natural instinct to tell who would be the best for both of us, and I head for the bar.

I catch a glimpse of a man with light brown hair, who is wearing a casual black jacket with a sea blue T-shirt and blue jeans. Probably this is why his eyes are sparkling like two sapphires. He doesn't come close, and he is the only man who doesn't stay with us long enough to get picked either, and yet, I feel an irresistible pull toward him. I take a few steps, but Ivy stops me.

"Here. John, this is Bella" she introduces us to each other, waking me from my reverie.

"Hi. Nice meeting you" I answer, but I am still not able to take my eyes off that stranger, who is heading for the exit right now. A bitter pang hits my chest that I haven't felt for a long time. Who is that man?

"So, Bella, what a lovely name!" I can hear the usual arrogance in John's voice. He knows he has me. And he is right... about tonight. I try to pay my attention to him. I have to, unless I want to lose everything I have. "Would you like a drink?"

"Sex on the Beach, please," I tell him with a flirty tone in my voice, and a smile that he could never tell is not honest. This is what he wants to hear and see, and it's all about make believe. I wish I shouldn't do this, but there is no way out. We need him. And he is not that bad-looking as the previous one. At least his hair is clean of excess gel, and he might be wearing a sweater vest, but his pants look nice with it. He looks a bit like a young father from the East coast. I wish I knew if it was true, and if so, then why he is here. I don't want to ruin an entire family. But where did this thought come from? I never cared about the lives of my preys.

"Here's your Sex on the Beach," he whispers in my ear and slaps hard on my butt. I no longer feel pity for him. He cannot be either a good father or husband if he acts like this with a strange woman. He deserves what he gets. "Are you gonna drink it or what?" he asks as if he was joking, but he does want to get me drunk as quickly as possible, since he doesn't want to waste his time in a bar. I feel disgusted of him and of myself, so I head for outside to get some fresh air. I never smoked, but I felt a sudden urge to get a cigarette from someone. And there he was: the man with sapphire eyes. I don't even need to say anything, and he already offers me a cigarette.

"Based on how you were singing, you must deeply need one," he smiles at me so nicely that I haven't seen for a long time. Is he resistant to our charms? Would it be possible? Or is it a game of his to get me this way? He even covers my back with his coat, so it is a game, indeed. "I've never heard someone sing "Come On Over" with such deep sorrow. Can I do anything to make you feel better?"

That's new. Nobody ever cared about my happiness. What's wrong with this man? Have I lost my powers? I have never felt so threatened, not even when I was almost suffocated to death.

"No, I just... I'd rather..." I utter in such a feeble voice that I could not even convince myself, so he held my hand.

"What's wrong? You sounded as if you were mourning someone. I have never heard such a deep pain in my life, and I have been in a lot of karaoke bars like this to find new talents, and not one of them has ever sung such a seductive song with so much sorrow in her soul." He touches my face with his warm hands, so I look up to him, and our eyes meet. I see nothing harmful in him, except that his gaze penetrates my soul. He is the first man for long years who does not care about my body, but rather wants to solve my mystery. And it gets me to stay with him.

"I'm just facing hardships in my life, that's all." I smiled at him honestly while he is lighting my cigarette.

"You and your friend seem to be here to pick up guys," he adds nonchalantly and blows out some smoke, but his question makes me cough out my smoke instead. "Sorry if I hurt you, but it was way too obvious not to mention it. Why are you doing it?"

"Why?" I aim to win some time, as I can't tell him who I really am. "I'm a girl with needs. And now I need company."

"Well, here I am for company, and you wanted to escape when I was nice with you."

"You don't understand." I want to leave him alone. I don't want him to see my cry, but I am about to if I stay. And I can't afford to ruin my makeup. But he grabs my hand and doesn't let me go.

"Then make me. I've met so many girls, and all of them want my money. What is wrong with you? Don't you have a heart?" He sounded mad, but I had no idea why.

"All you want is our bodies, so what's the difference? And no, I don't have a heart. Men like you have done well to break it into small pieces. Let go of me!" I pulled my hand out of his grip, so he pushed me against the brick wall in the alley.

"Are you saying that I am at fault for not being able to find a real woman? Someone who I can have fun with?"

"Men who want a partner do not come to bars and pick up drunk women. So don't lie to yourself. All you want is sex." I talk down to him just to hurt him in the way he has done to me, but he seems to be in a deeper pain than I am. He lets go of my arms and leans his forehead against the wall by my head. I don't know why, but I have a deep urge to hold him. His breathing slows down and his arms are gently caressing my back. But he suddenly pushes me away. "Don't treat me like a child. I don't need it."

"How many drinks have you had?" I ask because I've just realized he is at least a bit drunk.

"That's not the point. I'm not drunk, if that's what you mean. I don't want anything from a woman like you." He sounds confused and mad.

"Then why did you give me a cigarette?" I snap back.

"Because... I don't know..." His voice is uncertain, but he gets mad again. "Why can't you women treat men like people? Do we have ATM tattooed on our foreheads?"

"I won't start this again. If you don't understand that if you treat us like objects, then don't expect to be treated differently, then I can't help you." Obviously, it's not true in my case, because I need men to live, but he doesn't have to know that. "I have to go back inside. I wish you all the best."

I left him miserable in the alley, but it was a fruitless discussion, and I had to get that man anyway. What was his name? John? Ugh, I wish I didn't have to do it. I'm not in the mood to please anyone right now. It felt so great to be cared for when I came outside, and this is what _I_ needed. But nobody can give it to me. Not even Ivy. I know she wants the best for both of us, but this way of living is getting too much for me. Still, I have to smile and please as soon as I find the man that she picked for me. Eew, that John guy is even more drunk than the stranger outside. I don't even know his name.

"Hey babe, where have you been? I even asked you friend if you've gone home," he mumbles.

"Why did you do that?" I am scared. I know I'll have to deal with Ivy's fury, and I'm too tired for that. And there she comes. The muscles are tense all over her body, and if her eyes could kill I'd be dead by now.

"What were you thinking? You leave the prey alone? What if he'd went home with someone else?" She whispers furiously.

"Sorry, I needed some air," I apologize.

"Why? You have everything a woman can wish for. You look stunning... for now, at least. Men can't wait to give you anything you need, and all you need to do is spend the night with them. Why do you find it so difficult tonight? You'll have plenty of time to get the air you need tomorrow, but now you have to focus. We need him tonight. Now get back and get ready to leave soon," she commands.

I'm devastated. I have no choice. I know that if I go home alone I'll see even more wrinkles tomorrow. And I'll have to get a man sooner or later anyway. Why was I born this way? I wish I could quit somehow. I don't even care anymore if I get old and die. Then at least this nightmare would finally end.

"What are you waiting for? Just go!" Ivy gave me a push.

"I'm sorry I left you alone for so long," I tell John as soon as I get back to him.

"But now you're here again!" He pinches my ass, as if I was his already. I wish I could kill him right now, but it soothes me to know that he'll do it himself within a short time. I wonder how long he's gonna last. Will it be two weeks? Or only one? "Let's get you another drink."

"Do you live here?" I try to imitate a conversation.

"Nah, I'm from the East Coast. Why?" he answers while he shows the bartender his empty glass.

"Just wondering. I've never seen you here before."

"I'm on business. I'll head back home tomorrow, but I'd love to have some fun before." He gets irritatingly close, and pulls my hips to meet his. He is about to kiss my neck when we finally get our drinks, and I can hold my glass to clink with his. I need to drink more to deal with him. He looks like a guy under the extreme pressures of his everyday life, and they are the worst. They treat me like a slave, who was born to do everything for his sake. He doesn't know that it will be the other way around from tomorrow. Still, I'm afraid of the night. I simply have a bad feeling about it. But I have to go on.

"And you'll get it, don't worry." I smile at him while I touch his weak arm. "Do you work out? You feel so strong." I can't believe they always for fall this line.

"Yeah, I play squash once in a while," he says proudly, so I almost spit the sip of cocktail back in my glass.

"Then that's why," I say while suppressing a laugh, but I freeze when I hear a familiar voice from behind my back.

"So that's who you found? Congratulations, quite a catch," the sapphire-eyed stranger says sarcastically. He's gonna ruin everything. Tonight is hard enough as it is, but if even he is bothering us, then I might have no chance. They might get into a fight and beat each other up, or even worse, John might leave without me.

"Who is he? You boyfriend?" asks John with surprise.

"He's just a drunk guy, who is about to leave," I answer to save the day.

"Oh no, I'll stay, I want to see this," he stutters.

"Will you excuse me for a minute?" I say irritably. How do I solve this? He is too drunk to convince that he should leave. Where is Ivy when I need her help?

"Is he really better than me? Look at him! Don't you wanna come home with me and cuddle? Watch the sunrise together at the beach?" he says in a slurred voice.

"It sounds great, but you don't mean it. You're drunk, go home please," I'm begging him when Ivy finally appears.

"What do you think you're doing? Who are you?" She attacks him.

"I'm Edward Cullen, and I just want to take this girl to the beach to cuddle on the sand," he chuckles, so Ivy whispers to me.

"Look, you don't need to have sex tonight if you choose Edward."

"No, I don't want to..." _hurt him_. _He was too nice with me, and I'm sure he wouldn't deserve what he'd get from us_. I must protect him from Ivy. "Can you please get rid of him?"

She leaves us and flirts with the bouncer. As soon as she turns her head toward us, he heads for Edward and throws him out. I turn away, since I can't stand to see him get beaten even if slightly. John gives me a questioning look, as if I was already his disobeying property, but he says nothing, and I appreciate his gesture.

Still, he acts arrogantly with me as long as we are in the bar. He is groping my body all over, as if we were in the bedroom already, so I am sure that I will face quite a torture tonight. I wish I could choose a man like Edward, but he is too nice to wish for his death. He wouldn't make me feel miserable for an entire night, but he'd rather please me, and I'm longing for a guy like him. And this is exactly why he doesn't deserve to be killed. I have to deal with pricks like John, who I have no feelings for. I can't have any feelings, not even for Edward. Maybe if I don't see him again, I'll forget about him in time. And spending the night with John will be the first step toward oblivion. I just want to get it over with. I wish we could finally leave. Luckily, my eyes meet Ivy's soon, and her permissive nod lets me know that we're ready to leave. So, all four of us get into our red Porsche convertible and head for our house in Malibu.


	2. Chapter 2

**Some scenes you are about to read are extremely violent. Some readers may find them offensive.**

I feel a deep pain in my chest. I just left the only man who could see through the image Ivy had created for me. While I was singing, he could actually hear the girl who had been broken inside for a long time. He must be the only one who could heal my soul and make my life worth living. Not that I am not happy with it sometimes. Most girls envy me, since I have everything: looks and careless days without even doing housework.

I just hate the price I have to pay for it. I am tired to serve men, even if it is for just one night, but these short periods are my worse nightmares. They can't hurt me physically, but their brutality breaks me to the core more and more often these days. When Ivy and I started, they had a lot less extreme wishes, but the last one forbid me to move while he was stretching all my holes, and if I am not allowed to move, then I can't. If I don't follow all his orders till sunrise, then the whole night has been nothing but a waste of time.

I am sure Edward would never act this way. The guys who are nice with you in public are the cruelest in bed, but he was honest. Actually, he was such a jerk that I even cared about what he was saying. I even considered ending my nightmares, but how could I? If I stop living in this way, then I'll die. I wish I could follow my heart and be the woman he needs, or damn it, I just wish I could be normal again, but this is who I am. I was born this way, and there is no escape from it. I can't have feelings or be a part of the real world, but I have everything else. Our cars, a house with a huge room full of designer clothes and accessories, and my vast collection of diamond rings give me nothing to worry about in my life. I can always eat out, and never even have to deal with the errands either. It was so much fun when it began, but now I am bored of it. I would even cook, but none of our preys lets me do it just once.

Yesterday, Ivy was on a shopping spree and our last preys were gone, so I made such a fine Greek crab salad that I haven't even had at home, but I had to lie to Ivy about it. She thinks that every type of housework takes away our beauty, so I am not allowed to do anything if she is at home, no matter how much I like it. But if I lie that I ordered in, she always eats my food with pleasure, and keeps on asking about the restaurant that made them, but I always refuse to answer. _Ugh, what is this?_

John has woken me from my reverie with his tongue. He has no idea how to kiss a woman's neck. He is licking it all over like a dog, so the cool breeze freezes my skin. He must think it turns me on, since his hand is even slipping under my skirt, but he is doing the exact opposite. I've been too naive to think we would have a pleasant drive and some more time for myself, but he wants to start right now.

Most men are afraid when Ivy is behind the wheel, since she is dangerously irresponsible. Their life is in danger in a convertible at 120 mph, but these ones do not even bother to fasten their seat-belts. In fact, John is not even sitting on his side anymore, but he is almost sitting in my lap. He even whispers something in my ear before he penetrates it with his tongue, but the music and the wind are so loud that I can't hear a word.

Ivy almost bangs into the wall in the tunnel before we reach the Pacific Coast Highway just to feel her powers and scare the guys, but they do not even start cursing. She is crazy, but at least she's made John stop licking me this time. However, as we are passing by the shore, his hands go wild. The one under my dress slips up and he pulls my thong to the side, while the other gets a firm hold of my tit. I can't tell how much it hurts, but he still thinks he is turning me on. Down there, however, he rubs my clit a couple of times, which he must take as a long enough time to get me wet, and even though he must feel that I'm still dry and tight, he thrusts his finger in all of a sudden. He gives me a burning pain, since his thrusts are hard and deep, but it is still nothing compared to what comes when we reach a curve in the road.

Ivy takes it at a high speed again, and John doesn't let go of my body, but he rather holds on to it. As my vagina is ripping apart, his nails are cutting through my silk dress, and I have no doubt that they will even leave a mark on my skin. He looks confident, though, except that he uses my body as a handhold. I wish I could be relieved when we finally reach our private drive, but I know I should be prepared for a lot worse than our ride home.

I got this wooden house from an investment banker when we still lived in New York, always under the same roof with our prey. As he used it as a holiday home, Ivy came up with the idea that I should ask for it, but we never thought it would be a huge two-bedroom house right on the beach until that guy flew us here in his private jet. I wish I remembered his name, but he didn't stay long enough for that. As we enter the living room, I am about to head for my bedroom, to get it over with as soon as possible, but Ivy wants to drink some more, and pours shots of whiskey for everyone. I hate whiskey, but I have to drink it for the guys.

"You didn't like it babe?" asks John with a slap on my butt, while I am still dealing with its earthy flavor. _Why can't we have at least a bourbon instead of a scotch?_

"I did, it was just stronger than I expected," I answer with a smile that doesn't touch my eyes.

"Then have one more!" he yells, slapping on my butt even harder than before. I am begging Ivy with my eyes to find an excuse, but she shrugs her shoulders, since I have no choice. It was an order. I feel nauseous by the smell, so I am fighting really hard against myself before I empty my glass once again. My body wants to get rid of it, so I start choking. All I want is a glass of water, and as I am staggering toward the bar, Ivy has been pouring some for me already.

"No! Don't drink water! One more round for her only," commands John. "For later."

That sick bastard must want to get me humiliatingly drunk. I can't believe we picked him. I hope he is filthy rich, and I can take everything from him tomorrow. I don't know what is going on anymore. I keep on gazing at the floor, as I don't dare to look up. I need to sit down, or at least lean against something, but as I pass by the bar stools, I push one over instead of sitting on it. I almost fall to the ground, but Ivy catches me before I hit my head against the bar and helps me up.

"She's drunk enough, don't you think? Why would you want her to have one more?" Ivy begs him.

"Because she'll get sober, and I don't want her to. I'm here to have fun! And you promised me fun with her, so keep your word!" John tells her off.

"Can't we finally go to your room? I don't wanna see this blondie throw up," the other guy asks Ivy, and she has to obey, so she lets go of my hand and leaves me alone with this sick man.

"Finally we're alone. And now I can do anything I want with you. Show me the way to your room." He sounds menacing. I don't want to do this. I have turned to a statue by the bar, but he pushes me forward to move.

As we enter my room, I can see my ribbons and scarves lying around on my black iron bed, which apparently put an idea in his head... something I will hate. I stagger to the bed, trying to sweep them all away at once, but I don't only fall on the bed, but he grabs my wrists and ties them together.

"Safeword... brake," I mutter.

"Safeword? We don't need it babe," he says in a menacing voice, while unzipping his flies. "I'm always told what to do... by my boss, my wife, everybody. Now I'll tell you what to do and you can't stop me."

"Please, don't," I whisper. I lost hope. He's going to ruin me in every possible way, and I can't do anything against it tonight.

He begins with tearing the straps of my dress, so it falls down on the floor, and I stand there in nothing but my white thong. The world is still spinning around me, so I can't stand still for long. And the worst part is that I feel sick, but he wouldn't let me go to the bathroom.

"On your knees," he commands from behind my back. I obey, and a ribbon is tied around my neck. _What does he want to do to me?_ He stands in front of me with his erection just freed from under his boxer shorts. "Open your mouth."

As he tells me this, he grabs the ribbon around my neck, and pulls me close with it until I finally start to feel the sour taste of his tool in my mouth. As he is moving his hips, he irritates my throat more and more, as if he was aiming for my gag reflex, but he can't be that crazy. As his thrusts get harder and deeper, I am feeling sick. My body wants to get rid of not only the excessive amount of alcohol that he has made me to drink, but also his rod that sometimes fills my throat so fully that I can't even breathe. My tears have already ruined my makeup when I look up at him with begging eyes, but he ruthlessly goes on.

I am giving in. I have realized he wants to take revenge on me for everything that has gone wrong in his life. It is no excuse for what he is doing, but I finally see that I will have to face everything he has in mind. Luckily, he wants to get more than oral sex, so after he has thrust his meat so deep in my mouth that my lips can touch his balls, he finally pulls out and leaves me on my knees in the middle of my own room. I let out a sigh of relief, but as I look up, he is heading for my nightstand, for my last shot of whiskey, so relief suddenly gives way to despair again. I don't even want to keep my eyes open, but when I close them, I am losing my balance. My stomach still wants to shoot out everything it has inside, but he wants to force me to drink that one last shot, and I have to obey him.

He says nothing when he gets back to me, but simply holds out the glass, which nauseates me even more than before, but I take it. I try to win some time, but he takes my hand and lifts it to my mouth. I shoot it in, but I don't dare to swallow, so he pinches my nose until I finally open my throat for the now disgusting liqueur. I can never drink one more, so we'll have to get rid of all of it as soon as possible.

Luckily, I'm so intoxicated now that I don't sense much of what he's doing to me. I can feel he pushes me down on my hands and knees while he grabs the ribbon around my neck. It feels hard to breathe, but I can't tell what is going on exactly. Everything is such a blur. I am walking around on my extremely soft carpet, then the next thing I know is that he suddenly thrusts his rod into me while I'm leaning over my bed, but my knees are still on the floor. I can't move because my hands have been tied to the frame. He must have prepared for fierce thrusts and that I might want to escape, since the knots are so firm that I can't even loosen them. Even though I'm drunk, I can still feel that my vagina is being torn for eternal minutes, before my anus is destroyed, as well. After all, having made me drink so much turns out to be nice of him, since I feel and sense less of the tormenting night.

It is still not enough, though, to let me fall asleep after he has finally freed my wrists and lain down next to me. I can't stop thinking about why I am doing this. I want to find another way of living. This is not who I am. I know who could help me, but I can't see him again. Edward didn't fall under my spell, and he knew he didn't see me on stage. He knew it was an act. And what he was trying to tell me in his own, inebriated style was that I can and should quit. There is a real life out there for me... a better one. I just need to find the door to it. Edward must be the key. He has something in him. He's not interested in my package. He was talking with me... the real me, whom I've kept hidden for long years, and who has been yearning to find happiness. I never wanted this life. I just need someone to love and who loves me back, but I wasn't born this way. Love kills. I learned it as a child, but I still haven't found the cure. Somehow, I feel that it lies in Edward's hands, but I don't dare to trust my feelings anymore.

I'm sure that the jerk in my bed has fallen asleep, so I don't have to hold back my tears any longer. I let them wet my pillow, since only its cold can heal the burning scars on my soul. I want to forget about this night and my entire life, and I hope tomorrow would be my new start. I don't know why, but somehow I believe it would happen. And this thought is finally calming enough to lull me to sleep.

By the time the first rays of the Sun open my eyes, John has already been on his knees by my bed, waiting for my orders. This is the part that I love. This is when I can get my revenge.

"What can I do for you dearest Bella?" He kisses my hands, when a pungent smell irritates my nose, and the sight of my messy floor shows me what I have forgotten about last night. So, since he is the reason of the mess, I already know what he needs to do.

"Clean the entire room thoroughly. Cleaning cloths and products are in the storage room by the kitchen," I order as I am stretching my body in the bed, then I head for the bathroom.

As I look at my reflection in the mirror, I can tell the suffering might have been worth it. There are no wrinkles on my forehead, no bags under my eyes, and I look like twenty-five again. I need no bra to hold my tits at the right place, my hair is still soft like silk, and I am full of energy. Moments like these are why my life is worth living. I don't only feel rejuvenated, but I finally have the power to get back at the man who tormented me earlier. And so does Ivy. Usually she is the one who sends me his prey with the breakfast, and I know this is why I can hear someone knocking on my door.

"Miss Bella, your breakfast is ready," says the arrogant Latino in a humble tone. As I step out, my bed has already been packed with trays of breakfast. "Dear Ivy couldn't tell me what you wish for, so I've made everything for you."

A tray holds a pot of coffee, milk, sugar, sweetener, honey and whipped cream, while another has freshly squeezed orange juice and corn flakes, but I also have pancakes, bacon and eggs, three types of bread and bagel, peanut butter and jelly, a bowl of berries and bananas. I always have eggs and orange juice, and Ivy knows it well, so I take this sheer glut of food is her way to apologize for picking such a jerk for me last night. I put on my silk robe and head for the dining room to plan the day with my best friend.

"Good morning Bella," she greets me with a worrying smile. "How was..."

"Let's not talk about it. He was obviously a jerk, but as he made me drink so much, I don't remember much of it. Oh, by the way, can we please get rid of that whiskey?"

"I already did. Sorry, I had no idea... he looked such a nice man. But hey, mine already gave me his credit card!" No matter how much suffering she has been through, Ivy is always exhilarated by the thought of shopping. So, the first thing we do after such nights is to get ready to leave by noon and shop till we drop. "I need a new watch... and shoes... and a cocktail dress. You should buy one, too. I heard there's a new brand on Rodeo Drive. We _must_ check it out!"

"Okay, sounds cool." I'm no longer excited by the thought of wasting money. I want to live. Before we got this house, we traveled around the world, at least. But now, we are stuck in LA, and I am getting bored to death. I want to learn something new, like sailing, or kiting, but they are too dangerous, as well, and they can ruin my beauty. I cannot buy happiness like she does. I need to feel alive. But no matter how many times I try to explain it to Ivy, she doesn't seem to be willing to understand. She thinks shopping makes all of us – girls – happy, and she always looks for excuses why I don't enjoy it at the moment, so I have given up on convincing her to do something else. I will have time for my hobbies from tomorrow on, anyway.

"Bella, dear, your room is clean, what else do you need?" John enters the dining room.

"We're in the middle of something, can't you see?" Ivy tells him off.

"Could you do the entire house and go grocery shopping with..." I tell him a little more nicely, but I forget Ivy's prey's name, "...who?"

"Diego," adds Ivy. "We'll need caviar, salmon, salad, fruits, fresh bagel and eggs. Oh, and could you make us some sushi, as well? Don't buy them, I like the handmade ones."

I always wonder how they can learn to make sushi in a day. Ivy always asks for it – probably it reminds her of her home – and by the time we get back in the afternoon, we always have at least vegetable rolls waiting for us in the fridge. Since Ivy gets excited again, and I don't want to spoil her mood, I don't tell her about my thoughts on quitting last night, but I need to talk with her soon. She needs to know I want to do something with my life. I am already afraid of her reaction, but if I tell it to her during shopping, she might be more accepting. She could easily kill me, but it would be of no use to her, so I'm sure she would harm Edward instead, especially if she knew I have feelings for him. _But do I? Am I in love with him? _The butterflies in my stomach tell me that I do. Then I can't let her know. I must protect him. But she needs to know that I don't want to do this anymore.


	3. Chapter 3

**Some scenes you are about to read are violent. Some readers may find them offensive.**

As soon as we jump in my metallic blue Corvette, with John's gold credit-card, I finally feel free again. I love driving, but in the crazy, irresponsible way that Ivy prefers. I enjoy it slowly, to let the summer breeze blow my hair, so I turn onto Sunset Boulevard as soon as I can. Ivy hates it because it is too slow for her, but I get to see other than the highway, so I always opt for smaller roads whenever possible. It might take a bit longer to get downtown, but a sport car like this drives so smoothly in curves that the straight Pico would never be an option for me. And the best part I love about slow drives is that I get to listen to Aretha Franklin's emotional melodies, and her "Love for Sale" is the perfect remedy after such nights. Ivy used to criticize my choices of routes and music, but she has finally got used to them, so she remains silent until we reach Rodeo Drive.

Obviously, we head for Herve Leger first, since that's Ivy's favorite, but her clothes has been taken to a changing room while I am still looking for one dress to try on.

"Check this out." She shows be a tight purple dress, which would fit her, but not me, so I slightly pout my slips at her with a questioning look. "Hey, you deserve these. Just think about what he did to you. It's time to spend his money to take revenge."

"It's not my style, you know it too well." I refuse to give it a closer look, so she nods the assistant to take it to the changing rooms, as well.

"Trying on doesn't hurt anyone," she says and I accept it with a deep sigh. "You're weird today. What did that prick do to you in the end?"

"It was nothing. I mean, I don't remember." _I don't want to think about it. _

"Diego turned out to be pretty normal. He just wanted to get some oral, and he even gave me some. But he also ruined my favorite corset with some hot wax, so we need to find a new one at La Perla today." She was chattering as if it was normal to play with candles like that. And I'm so not in the mood to listen to those games right now.

"I don't understand why you don't get rid of them. If there are no candles at home, they won't send you to get some."

"Maybe I enjoy it." Darkness appears in her eyes for a moment before she laughs out loud and takes my hand to lead me to try on the clothes. I am finally alone with my thoughts and I can get ready to tell her what I want, but she speaks up soon. "And what about John? I shouldn't have introduced him, I know, but I hope he was okay."

"I told you, I was drunk. My memories are pretty blurry," _and I don't want to talk about it in a boutique, where strangers would overhear stories of my sex-life._

"Still, based on how long he was cleaning your room, I bet it was terrible. Luckily, it is time for revenge now, right?" _Here's my cue, I can tell her my wish._

"Ivy, is there a way to avoid revenge?" Her silence urges me to go on. "Can't we live without obeying men and revenging what they do to us? Can we have a normal life somehow?"

After a long pause, she joins me in the changing room. "Why would you want a normal life? Do you want to suffer every day? Would you rather obey a boss who drops you crumbs in return? Look at yourself." She stands behind me as we are facing the mirror and gently touches my body to show me what I still have. "You would lose this smooth face. Your firm breasts would be sagging. Cellulite would appear on your butt. You could never wear dresses of such a high quality, and there would be days when you would be thinking if you want to eat or buy medication. Is this what you really want? Why would you give up your life?"

"I want to love," I tell her with dreamy eyes, while she looks in my eyes from so closely that I can feel her breath on my lips, but my answer makes her pull back with disgust.

"Love is so overrated. What could it give you? Company? I'm here for you anytime. Sex? You have sex with every prey of yours. Safety? We are immortal, rich and strong... as long as we do what we have to."

"But this life is empty," I whisper. "I think a man could change that."

"Come on, don't wait for a savior. What you need is already in yourself, you just need to find it. If you want to fill your life with experiences, then do something for it. You know what? Let's go sailing to Catalina tomorrow." She pats my shoulder and leaves with ease, but I still can't get the thought of a new life out of my head.

I have been friends with Ivy for long enough to know that she is not likely to give up until she is absolutely sure that I don't want to leave her. So, before we headed home, she wanted to have lunch at The Polo Lounge. I humbly ordered a crab cake with salad, fennel and orange Dijon vinaigrette, and a shrimp with artichokes, arugula, mushrooms and bread crumbs, but she wanted to show me what I would miss if I had to work for money. That is why I had to watch her eat a dozen of oysters before her Royal Caviar is served. Without doubt, I could never have such delicious food if I started to work as a waitress, or who knows what I would be capable of.

"So you are seriously thinking about giving up this life," she says before a bite of her caviar. "I must tell you, you have all my respect. I mean I could not live without such delicious food," she mumbles while she is licking her lips so passionately that I wish I ordered caviar, as well. "But you said you don't care about these things. You would also be satisfied with cheap clothes, right? You might get sweaty because of the low quality material, but it does not matter as long as it looks great on you. And your body is perfect... for now I mean. I understand it means very little to you, since you are a lot older than me, and you might have already had enough of controlling people with your beauty, so I shut up. You have all my respect for being ready to live without all these and die soon. I wish we could spend a couple of hundred years together, but you want to give it up. I wish I could help you, but I have never had such ideas. I need this comfort. And who am I kidding? I need my beauty and immortality. I even refuse to believe it's possible to end it. Call me shallow or vain, but I want this, and I deserve this. And so do you." She raises her glass of Bloody Mary to me.

As soon as the darkness of the night can hide me, I leave Ivy alone with the guys. I need time to clear my head. I jump off our balcony with my arms crossed in front of my chest to let my wings materialize. Right before I would hit the rocks, they tighten the skin on my back before they tear it open and fly me high above the ocean. I still remember the first time I used them. It was so painful that I rather let myself fall into the sea to cool down the bleeding wound. By now, it is almost the same as when I cut my finger in the kitchen. A thin layer of my skin hurts, but the enjoyment it leads to is worth the pain.

I always head for the horizon, so nobody can see me while I am jumping in and out of the deep water, which always refreshes my body and calms my soul... if I still have it. After all these years of luring and killing, I seriously doubt I could still love. In fact, I do not even need company anymore. I wish I could be alone, just like now, since nobody controls me, and this is when I am in heaven. This is what I never want to lose: the freedom of flying all around the world if I wish. How could I do it without machines if I were a human? Maybe Ivy is right anyway. This is who I am, and I should find happiness in this life. I must accept what I cannot change, and strive to make a difference when possible. And what I am is something I was born with, and I need to accept it. If I asked any girl on the street whether they wanted my life as it is, they would probably say yes, anyway. Unless they already knew what obeying men for one night really means. That is the real game-changer. We can have it all, but we must sacrifice our body and soul for it, and we have no choice. We have to do it all alone, unless we team up with someone like us. This is why I have Ivy, but she is not capable to understand my needs. She wants me to be like her, which I cannot do. I need someone like me.

I need company. I need a man. I must see Edward, so I head back toward the shore. High above the city, everything looks peaceful, as if all marriages, children, parents and singles were happy as they are. Here, I can't hear their cries for help, the sirens of the ambulance or the broken vase that hits the floor during a family fight. Nobody is cheating on their partner or lying to their friends or customers. It is simple perfection. This is how life should be for real. But as I start to descend near the karaoke bar I met Edward, I already hear screams, see the bitter faces, and smell the suffocating vapor of gasoline. What a horrible world to live in. And I only make it worse. I make use of people's desire to cheat, ruin families, and take my preys' life. I am a horrible person. I wish I never had to see the shades of darkness, or if I could escape my fate. I would keep on flying high in tranquility if I could, but I was born to see the depths, not the heights of this life. I want to put an end to my sorrow and to this parasitic life. My only chance is to find peace in Edward's arms... if he ever wanted to see me again.

I don't dare to go inside the bar, or even to land on the streets nearby, so I rather wait on a rooftop, hoping that something would happen. And it does. A black SUV parks by the entrance, and my sapphire-eyed man gets out of it. He strolls to the security guard, but his eyes are constantly searching for something... _or someone? Is he looking for me, too?_ I wish I could hear a word he says, but all I can tell for sure is whoever he is looking for is not there, since his wide-open eyes are filled with desperation and disappointment. I bet he does not beat the truth out of the guy only because their strength hardly compare to each other. So, even though Edward makes a fist, he rather hurtles into the bar, leaving me doubting for so long it felt like an eternity.

What could possibly turn him so outraged? He does not look like he is from the neighborhood, so I doubt he would know the security guy or if he could make him mad in such a short time. He is not drunk, and he could enter the bar, so the only problem can be that he didn't find what he has been looking for. I am about to stop resisting the temptation to land and spy on him when he staggers out with a short-haired redhead, who looks like Ivy, but she has no Asian origins. She is even more intoxicated than Edward, and they still drive right away.

Since I am concerned about his safety, I feel an urge to follow them in secret. It is way too late to expect heavy traffic on the wide highways downtown, but as they take the tight, dark roads of Bel Air, I suddenly feel a lump in my throat. Needless to say that his speed is far too fast for the curves and slopes, so I can't help, but worry about him. I have never felt this way for anybody for a long time. What is wrong with him? Is he planning to kill himself or what? The drive that should have taken more than a half hour is over within fifteen minutes or so, and so is the nightmare for me. I land on a tree by his bedroom window, so I can watch him a little longer. I am not obsessed with him, but I feel calm when he is around, even though the cul-de-sac is echoing their loud chuckles as they stagger into the wooden house, but as soon as they finally enter, dreadful silence surrounds the area.

He has a romantic bathroom, which looks like a cave with its stone walls and built-in fireplace, but he does not even invite the girl to join him there. In fact, she is the one who heads for his bedroom upstairs, as if she was familiar with the house already. While Edward is getting changed and having a whiskey in his bar, she is taking off her clothes and waits for him in only her panties, leaning over a small, wooden stool that stands by his four-poster bed. When he finally enters, she does not even look at him, not even when she must hear him taking off his belt. His eyes are cold and cruel now, and I instantly know he is not the guy I thought he was. He lifts up his arm and spanks that poor girl once, but she does not even quiver. When he does it for the second time, she closes her eyes, but still says nothing. She only screams so loud that even I can slightly hear it after the tenth blow, and her torture finally ends.

I have been way too naive about this guy. After he has turned the poor girl's butt red, he pulls up chains from under the bed, and fixes them with a locket on the poor girl's wrists and ankles while she is lying on her front and he just leaves her alone with her misery and uncertainty. Teardrops cool down my heated-up face, while Edward is washing his in the nearest bathroom. He looks a bit broken while he is saying something to his reflection, giving support to his body with his arms, but the momentary despair in his eyes turns to anger again.

He disrespects most girls, but why does he hate this one so much? Or is it his way to punish all of them for his exes? Or he might... no, he cannot have become a sadistic maniac because of me. He knows what he is doing already, so it cannot be his first time. And the girl has also been here before, so they must have been together like this for months or even years. Yet, he made me believe he was different... that he never wanted to hurt a girl... that he needed someone I would like to be. _How could I be so stupid?_ All men are the same. They want to make use of us. Now he is inserting a toy into her anus, and even though it is lubricated, it looks like the ones that can be pumped bigger. It was done to me a few months ago, so I still have clear memories of the unbearable feeling of being ripped apart, while that damned toy was growing inside me. So, as he suddenly pulls it out of her and penetrates her destroyed hole with his rod instead, I cannot watch them any longer.

I have never been so disappointed by someone else in my entire life. I was depressed for decades or even a century after the love of my life died, but then I was the reason myself. I have never been so wrong about someone. How can he punish girls in such a way when he claims that he needs someone normal? He made me feel miserable for what I am doing, and yet, here he is, doing exactly the same to her as it has been done to me. I don't know whom I hate more: him for lying to me, or myself for believing him. I hope I will never see him again, but if I do, I will make him my prey without mercy. I want to destroy him.


	4. Chapter 4

I smash the door behind me as I enter my room, right before I throw myself on the bed and start punching the pillows by my head. I have never felt so weak and strong at the same time. How can a personality be so ambiguous? He was so convincing when he was telling me off, but he has just turned out to be just like the others. He was my last hope, but he rather destroyed me in the end.

"Bella, are you all right?" Ivy enters with her eyes wide open.

"Please, can you leave me alone?" I am sobbing. "I'll be out there with you soon."

She does not leave. She rather sits down by me and pulls my head on her lap. She says nothing, but her caring fingers are running through my hair, and her soft lips kiss my forehead once in a while. She might be holding me back, but does know what I need at all times. I curl up to her, and let my tears flow, while she is caressing my body with both hands. I only feel one of them disappearing when my door opens, but it quickly returns back to my cheek when it is closed again. I have no idea how she does this, but my body starts to shiver while I am holding her strongly, as if I was squeezing out the last drops of tear of my eyes. At a dash, my ambiguous thoughts disappear and I am back to my old self again.

"Go, wash your face. Do you need help?" asks Ivy in a sympathetic tone, when I look up to her with red, wet eyes. I have never been so grateful for her support, and just being there with me, but all I need her is to get me back on my feet, then I shake my head to let her go.

Oh, my! The puffy face that stares back at me from the mirror cannot be my reflection. It looks devastated and hopeless, and this is not who I am. Splashes of cold water cool me down a bit, but I still need to lean against the washbowl to keep my balance. Now all I remember of what happened is that I was betrayed by Edward, and I must take revenge. And there is only one person I know who could help me with this, so I head out to the living room, where I meet Ivy's concerned gaze. I force a smile on my face to let her know I am all right, and she orders John to make a Blue Lagoon for me, since it may be a bit too strong for me, but its color reminds me of home. John is eager to make me happy in any way, so I get my cocktail quickly enough. In fact, he rushes back to me with it that he even pours some drops on my favorite white dress.

"What have you done?" I yell at him, as if he was responsible for my misery. His eyes open wide, then he turns away his head to hide something from me, but I don't care. He did hurt me deeply, and he deserves to absorb all the pain that he and Edward has given me in less than a day. I put the glass down on the coffee table, deliberately staining the glass top with it, and drop my dirty dress as I am scurrying to my closet for another one. I pick a tight, yellow one, which I am so not in the mood for, but my favorites have not yet been washed and dried, yet. _I must tell John off for not having taken care of it._ On my way back, I see the dress still lying on the floor, and Ivy is cleaning the table. She has never done it before.

"Where are the guys?" I wonder.

"I sent them to buy some food for us. I ordered gyro for the evening, I hope I can cheer you up with it. What happened? I have never seen you so upset before." She leans forward and listens to my answer attentively.

"Nothing..." I have no idea why I want to hide the truth from her, but I want to keep my stalking Edward a secret. "I spotted a nice guy on his yacht, while I was flying around tonight, and I felt a deep urge to keep on watching him. He turned out to be polite and honest, but when he took his guests ashore and stayed with only a woman on board, his true self showed." It is my first lie to Ivy, and she seems to feel it on some level, but before she could ask back, I go on with the truth. "He was as cruel with that sweet girl as our preys are with us. I know I shouldn't have freaked out about it, but coming to the realization that all men are like brutal animals was so disappointing."

"Oh, Bella, how come you are almost 690 years old, and you are still so naive? All men are like this. They are under more and more pressure, and since we were made to absorb it, they use us more and more roughly... but unlike humans, we can get back at them." She playfully winks at me, but she only makes it worse for me. It would mean that there is no hope, and no end to my suffering.

"I refuse to agree with you. I believe there must still be gentlemen somewhere, and they would not take advantage of us. There must be at least one, who can save us."

"What is with this saving thing? You have an awesome life, everything a woman can ever dream of and you sound like a victim..."

"I am a victim!" I interrupt. "We both are! And I do need the hope of a real life, since this is all I have. Please let me hold on to it."

"Maybe we haven't really had much fun recently," she says after a long pause. "I know how much you hate shopping, so I should have taken you out in the first place. Go ahead and get ready! We'll go out!"

Regardless of how zestful she is, I am not in the mood to put on mask again and flirt with strangers, especially when we still have both preys alive. "I don't wanna see new men," I whine.

"Then you've misunderstood something. It would be just the two of us... like a girls night out in movies. We have never done it before, and maybe this is all you need."

Her zest is so captivating that I can't resist any longer, and I nod with a smile, but with my eyes shut. I get a hug in return, before I head to my room with the drink that I have sip by sip while I am curling my hair, putting on makeup and picking a nice, but not revealing outfit. Back in the living room, Ivy has already been waiting for me with yet another Blue Lagoon and some upbeat music to set the mood before we head out for the night.

This is the first time we do not pick a club where we could sing, since we are not on a hunt at last. Just this thought itself is liberating, but when we even start to dance recklessly, I lose myself in the music and the movements. As I close my eyes, I feel like in another world, and maybe even another life, where I can finally do what I want. It makes me feel empowered and free again, so I lose control over my moves pretty soon, and let the mood pervade my entire body and what is left of my soul. But reckless joy is not my destiny. A guy touches my waist, and when I turn around, those sapphire eyes look back at me. It takes strength to push Edward away from me, but now that I have John's energy in me, it is not much of a challenge.

"I'll wait outside," he whispers to my ear so invitingly that I turn to a statue at the middle of the dance-floor. He is so arrogant with me like he was with that poor girl in his house, so I want to stay away from him, but something is pulling me outside. My eyes meet with Ivy's, who is surrounded by a bunch of guys. _How is she doing it without singing?_ She opens the circle of men with her hands to help me, but as I shake my head, she keeps on dancing.

However, she is not there to hold me back, so I cannot resist any longer. I need to be with Edward. I head out as if a magnet was pulling me toward him, and when I finally see his black, linen pants with a matching shirt, he has already smoked a cigarette and is about to light another one as I get to him.

"Hi," he greets me with relief. "The way your friend had me thrown out of the bar was quite rude to put it in a nice way."

"Well, you were in our way," I tell him off when I remember what I saw just a couple of hours ago.

"Am I now? Or are you about to ditch me again?"

"Maybe I should, based on how hypocritical your speech was back then," I snap back at him.

"What the hell? I want a normal woman and I'm suddenly a hypocrite?" His voice is unusually high-pitched.

"When you take advantage of women and treat them like shit, and you are still preaching about the problem being with us, then yes. You are."

"What are you talking about?" he stammers, and I realize he has no idea I was stalking him.

"I've heard about your... conquests, and I know they leave your home with scars on their body and soul." _There, I finally uttered my problems and I told it to the man's face who is to blame for them._

"I have no idea who you have possibly got it from, but I always give women what they want," he defends himself with confusion.

"Oh really. And what would I deserve? Being beaten with a cane?" I snap back again.

"If this is how low you are thinking about yourself, then yes. However, when you were singing, I felt you were longing for romantic trips, bubble baths, and a real man." He steps close to me. "You need someone, who cares about your soul while he is treating your body."

My legs are shaking. _What is this man doing to me? I need air._ He is way too close, and I feel helpless. I am trying to get away, but he grabs my wrist with one hand, while patting my palm with the other. I am lost. I want our bodies to become one, and I want him to touch me everywhere in the exact same way he is treating my hand. I am melting and shivering at the same time, but a sudden thought of Ivy being nearby rushes through my head.

"I gotta go," I whisper while gazing his soft lips.

"Oh really?" He kisses my hand while looking deep into my eyes, but as I close them, I realize that we – or rather he – might be in danger.

"I really have to go." I finally let go of his hand, but he pulls me back and grabs the nape of my neck, until our lips finally melt together.

It makes the entire world stop. I hear no sirens, no cries, and I smell no smog anymore. I feel as if I was flying high above the city where the problems cannot reach me. I am lighter than air, and the only reason why my feet are still on the ground is because his body is holding me back. His hug is like the string attached to a kite, and his kiss is the breeze that flies it toward the heavens. It is the perfect moment. I wish my entire life would be like this.

But this is not who I am. I am a monster, a demon, and he needs to stay away from me... and from Ivy. I must get back there, unless I want to risk his life. I need to keep him away, so I pull back and slap him at the face, before I scurry back to the club. By the cloakroom, I am still panting, so I lean my head back against the wall, before I bury my face in my hands. _I don't deserve happiness._

I am washing my face in the restroom when Ivy finds me. "Where were you? I've been looking for you everywhere!"

"There's been a long line," I say, forcing myself to sound confident.

"And what's with the lips?" She points toward my smudged lipstick.

"Oh, um, have I drunk so much? Then maybe we should go." _It was the perfect answer. It explains why my makeup is ruined, and why we can't stay any longer to avoid Edward._

"If this is what you want..." she says, as if she wants me to tell her something.

"It is, please." I finally sound calm and she buys it. _Well, that was easy._

As soon as I am finally alone with my thoughts again, I feel lighter than air. He is not a jerk. I have no idea what his reason was to treat that girl so harshly, but she did seem to know what she was in for. We live in a weird world, that's for sure.

He said he gives every woman what she needs. Then would it mean he is like me in a way? No, I could never kiss anybody the way he did. It felt as if he... no, I can't think about his feelings. He was probably drunk, and in need for yet another conquest. I can't let myself think he might have feelings for me because he must mean nothing to me. I can never see him again, but I am sure I will never forget him and his amazing kiss.

I should calm down and clear my mind. I finally need to get some sleep. The preys will die soon, and we will need other ones. I need all my energy for that. _But as our lips melted together..._ I am not supposed to fall in love. It would kill him. _He could give me the life I want..._ But I would take away his in return. I need to get back to being used by strangers and punishing them for what they have done to me. If only somebody could find a solution. I want to be free. I hate hurting people. And I hate being hurt. I just want to be normal... together with the man I love. And I want to have a home and clothes that I have bought myself not that I have taken away from a stranger. John will die soon, so I don't have much time left to come to a decision. I need to be strong and break free, or I will end up in this never-ending vicious cycle.


	5. Chapter 5

**Hi all, sorry that I have not posted regularly in this month, but I had to get a new job. Anyway, I am open for reviews, either positive or negative ones, since I would like to write the story so that you would enjoy reading it. So, please feel free to review it :)**

Cool ocean breeze touches my face before I would even open my eyes. It thoroughly soothes my heart until I realize I closed everything when I got home. The thought of someone entering my room without my permission is disturbing. This is why I only peek toward the window, but I keep on pretending that I am still asleep. The sight of the empty room has never comforted me so much before, so a sigh of relief leaves my mouth.

"Miss Bella? Did you sleep well?" a feeble voice mumbles at the side of my bed.

As I force my head to turn toward the sound, I can see John on his knees, with the pain of the world in his eyes. It will be his last day, but time has not come yet. This is what I hate the most: waiting for the prey to be ready to die. Before then, I have to see and hear all his misery, and this time I also need to smell it. All of them refuses to eat within a few days after they meet us, but the lack of personal hygiene, so to say, is pretty rare. But John has become really devoted to me. To be honest, he deserves it after he got me drunk and had such rough and humiliating sex with me that I had never experienced before. But I don't deserve to smell how rotten fish, gas and summer sweat are mixed together.

"Could you leave me alone? I didn't give you permission to enter my room," I tell him.

"Yes, Miss, I just wanted to please..."

"I don't care. Leave me alone. If you want to please me, then make two omelets with cheese, and squeeze a huge glass of orange juice by the time I get up."

I might have been rude with him, but his smell is just killing me. I can't wait to breathe in some fresh air as soon as he has left me alone. I don't care how miserable he looked with his pale skin, hollow cheek and black eyes, I could feel no mercy for him. I wanted his and my misery to be over, but I was afraid of what would come after that: I would need another prey soon. And I don't want that. I might be bound to him, but not to the next one, yet. I just need to be free... and so does he.

Instead of a hot bath that I usually take after long nights out, I rather take a cold shower to clear my head and to bring me back to reality. After he dies, I need knowledge instead of belief to decide if I am ready to start a new life or if I am willing to be stuck in this one for ever. My entire body is shivering under the cascading water, but at least it works. I see it now. This is not the life I want, but Ivy is not likely to let me go. I must get ready to leave and have a life of my own, but I might not be strong enough... but I have to be. If I have nobody to count on, then I need to change my life by myself. I will leave her without saying goodbye as soon as I can.

I can't stand the cold any longer, and my stomach is as empty as a vase with no flower, so I only put on a bathrobe before I head out to the dining room, where my breakfast has already been waiting for me with a red rose on its side. It must be John's gift, since he is clearly obsessed with me by now. If I got it from a guy who means something to me, I would smell it and put it in some water. Knowing that it is only a symptom of his obsession, I throw it out as if I was getting rid of an annoying fly.

I must admit that he is great with food, though. The longer he is with us, the better cook he becomes. I have no idea what he has done with the eggs, but they do not only taste like the ones my grandma used to make, but it is perfectly cooked without being too dry. I shouldn't let him take his secret to the grave with him, but as I open my mouth to call his name, I can hear him sniveling on the ground. He found the rose in the trashcan, and he has crawled to my chair with it.

"Oh, please!" I wouldn't like to be an asshole with him, so I hold my hand to help him up, but he is not willing to take it. I am so not in the mood for a whiny man right now, and since he is not willing to move in spite of all my efforts, I rather leave the rest of my breakfast on the table and turn on the television, which might be able to soften his cries.

"Last phase?" asks Ivy as she touches my shoulder. "Ugh, I wish we could lock them in somewhere during these hours."

"How about Diego?" I wonder.

"He was over a little after we came home last night," she says as she eases herself into the couch beside me. "Did you have fun in the end? When I finally found you after a long while, you looked shocked with smudged lipstick. Did someone hit on you?"

This is a question I haven't expected. I thought I already explained it to her last night. Then I guess I was wrong. Maybe she saw me with Edward. Oh, my, I hope not! Still, I need to come up with a plausible explanation. I wish I knew exactly what she saw. The best would be to tell the whole story just in case. "Oh, it's just... there was a guy who apologized when he bumped into me on the dance floor, so I thought there was finally someone normal and I went outside with him. We were talking, then he forcefully kissed me, but I took care of it. I was just shocked because I had not even sung for him."

"Oh, I see now." I am sure she doubts my story. Her eyes are still searching mine, without even blinking. And if she followed me and saw everything, then she already knows I am lying again. I need to be more careful from now on.

"Miss Bella," snivels John by the couch, "how could I make you happy?"

Now, I am helpful for his obsession. At least I have a chance to change the topic. I should come up with something lengthy. "Can you tell me the secret of your eggs?"

Ivy jumps up and leaves us alone, as if I have hurt her with something, but the point is that I do not need to talk about last night any longer. Still, I am not in the mood for John's tears either, so I try to have a dip in the ocean, but before I would leave the room, I hear his feeble voice begging me. "Please, could you kiss me, Miss Bella I'm dying for a kiss from you."

This is it. He is finally ready. _Why in the morning? Then I have to stay here all day with his body._ I should be ready to let him go, too, but the kiss of farewell feels just as bad as picking up the prey. Except that it can only be given by me. I cannot ask Ivy to do it for me. I have to get back to him right now, when he is asking for salvation. He is no longer able to get up from the floor, or to look at me in the eye. His hair has fallen out and his skin got wrinkled. This is the moment when I can guess how much longer he would have lived. He looks around ninety years old now, so I must have taken several decades of happiness from him. _Whatever, it needs to be done._ As I stand right in front of him, my chest hurts in a way I have never felt before. Something is about to rip my heart out. I also need to kneel down for the kiss this time. I do my best to ignore his shriveled lips as they touch mine. I suck on them for a short while before I would get him to open his mouth and give me what is left of his life.

This is what I have been doing for years, but I have never had to hold the entire weight of the dead body in my arms, after it has collapsed. I don't know if it is because I was on my knees with him, or because of what I am planning to do, but even though I still have all John's strength, my mind does not obey my command to move his body. I am too weak to move. All my problems hit me at a dash, and all I want is to get rid of the sudden tension inside me, so hold John's old body as tight as I can, until my tears finally wash all the sorrow out of my body.

Pain numbs me so much that the next few minutes or hours have flown by as if they never existed. I only have a short memory of Ivy getting me back up on my feet, giving me a drink and leading me back to my room. Now that I can open my puffy eyes again, only the moon gives light to the room, so it is time to take all my strength and dump John's body to the ocean. Ivy and I keep a knife with red handle under the couch, just to cut the dead bodies, so the sharks would eat them soon after they are dropped into the ocean. Since I do not want to risk being seen by anybody, I fly past the islands and I always get rid of the preys in open waters. Probably this is the reason why all of us live by the sea. It is easier to clear the tracks.

This is what I keep telling myself, but the truth is that I am no longer comforted by the facts. Somehow, my heart is just as open as before this whole nightmare started. I am vulnerable, weak and helpless, and I have no idea what to do with my life. I need the mother I never had, but when I get back home, all I have is Ivy. She does care for me. She does not even say a word when she looks into my red, still puffy eyes, but she rather lies down on my bed and has me to lie down beside her. As I can feel the soft bedding on my side, and her firm tits push against my back, she pulls the cover over us and holds me tight. It is not exactly the warmth I need, but at least it is safe and comforting enough to let the outside world cease to exist for a quick moment when I get to enter the realm of dreams.

By the time the first rosy streaks of light touch my eyes, I am alone in my bed again. Loneliness quickly fires up all my disturbing thoughts and by the time Ivy opens my door with the freshly delivered breakfast, the sea of tears have already flooded my pillows. Even though she must be aware that I need some time alone to cry out all the tension, she rather insists that I eat everything she has ordered. They might be my favorite, but I am not hungry. In fact, I cannot even think about eating right now, but she is tenacious as always. Unlike her shopping spree, the food can really cheer me up. At least I feel strong enough to get up and take the dip in the ocean that I was planning yesterday.

As the cool ocean is caressing my body I am feeling stronger, so I keep on swimming toward the open water until I feel a sudden urge to turn back. I am not tired yet, and I still have control over the waves, but something inside me tells me to head for the beach, so I do. With a clear mind and peaceful thoughts, I take a quick break, and since my toes already touch the sand, I rather walk out of the water, but not to our house. I am a few miles away, but I enjoy letting the sun dry my body and bikini in such a heatwave. What I have not expected, though, is that I might bump into someone familiar.

Sapphire eyes and washboard abs are heading toward me, but he is not alone. A sweet Golden Retriever is also having a workout with the man of my dreams. Both of them look careless like a child until our eyes meet. In fact, he does not really look into my eyes this time, but he rather seems to be ogling at my body. I quickly checked if my top has slipped to the side, as it usually does, but he is simply mesmerized by my looks. In the very moment he notices me walking out of the water, he freezes, but his dog does not, so he almost falls down when it runs on. I do my best to stifle a laugh, but my smile still shows. It is the first time in a century that I truly feel happy, and I have to hide it, so he would not feel embarrassed around me.

"Hey, I had no idea you swim," he says as he is checking his running shoes.

"Why else would it be worth living on the beach?" I giggle, a bit like a little girl, then I realize I should look more mature. _Why is it so damn hard to be serious around this man? Why can't I be the cold temptress like always?_

"You live nearby?" He coughs with his eyes wide open, so I point toward our house. He must find it weird that a girl who looks younger than thirty can afford to live in Malibu Beach.

"With my best friend. Her parents bought it for her." _Wow, that was a quick reaction. _I have never had to come up with an explanation about our home.

"Then that's why she's such a..." He makes a fist, and closes his eyes, but he rather takes a deep breath and goes on. "Whatever. Would you walk with me and Barker?"

I have no idea what to tell him. Ivy might pass by anytime, and if she sees us together then his life is in danger. _But I want to be with him._ Why is it always hard to come to a decision when he is nearby?

"But if you are in a hurry, I understand," he continues with begging eyes that are impossible to resist, so I close mine and smile as I nod, hoping that this dream could continue.

As he holds my hand, all my fears are suddenly gone, and I can finally get lost in the moment. Touching his soft skin and smelling his sweet, but spicy scent is intoxicating. It is the first time in my life that I feel I am where I should be. And it is on his side, wherever he goes. Unfortunately, he seems to be heading toward the parking lane, but I am nobody's fool, so I let go of his hand.

"I thought we would be walking on the beach," I complain.

"I'm dying for a sip of water, and so does Barker." He smiles, then stops to touch my cheek and look deep into my eye. "Don't worry, you can trust me. I could never hurt you."

He opens his car, but I am unable to move. I finally found a man who makes me feel safe. I wish I could guarantee his safety, as well. _What am I doing? I can't put his life in danger._ I suddenly feel strength in my feet again, so I turn around and scurry back toward our house, but he catches up with me quickly.

"What's wrong?" he asks as he grabs my hand.

"It's me. You should stay away from me." I pull my hand out of his grip to leave him alone and to stay strong. I don't want to start weeping in front of him.

"Please, let me take you out for a lunch. There's a great seafood restaurant nearby."

"No, I'm in a bikini, I can't enter a restaurant like this."

"Oh, come on! It's almost at the beach. I bet they have seen women dressed like that. But if you are so uncomfortable, put on my shirt, and a towel as a skirt."

"They'll get wet..." I am doing my best to get him to let me go.

"Who cares, as long as I can spend time with you." His voice caresses my heart like a silk ribbon, but I know I can't join him. I don't deserve happiness.

"But there is a sign that says dogs are not allowed."

"Then we'll ask for a table on the side. Are you making excuses now? Because you sound like it." He expects me to answer, but I have never had the courage to speak my mind. "If you want to go home, then do it now. But if you want to have a nice squid steak sandwich – that's my favorite – or just a simple salad with me, then take my hand."

He might have sound a bit harsh, but this is what I needed. I am ready to take his hand. No more excuses. But he deserves an explanation. He said that I can trust him, so he needs to know who I am, and why he should stay clear of me. He will not take it, for sure. So, something might have begun, but it will end today. He will end it.


	6. Chapter 6

**Hi again,**

**Thank you for reading my story. I hope you like it so far, because I am writing it for you. So let me know if you think a chapter does not fit, or even if you are bothered by my grammar. Feel free to tell me anything. The story is already in my mind, but I would like to tell it to you in an enjoyable way. **

**XOX**

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We must sit in the sun, since the corner table has no shades over it and this is what we need to take, so that Barker stay close to us. I wish I knew if I feel hot because of the scorching heat, or because I might be on a date, or because I am about to take the risk of losing him for ever and tell him who I really am. And since he leaves me alone soon, I feel worse and worse with every minute. I still feel the touch of his hand on my waist, and I am yearning for something more. I want to feel his breath on my skin, and I wish I could cuddle up to him someday. I could kiss his abs one by one right here and now, but I cannot. We are in public, so it would be inappropriate. I wish I could take him home, and please him, and let him please me in any way he wants, but Ivy is there. Ivy... I have a bad feeling about her.

"I've brought salad with crab and another with shrimp. It would be too hot for anything else. I hope you like them." He smiles as he sets the food on the wooden table.

"I'll have the scampi then." I smile, but it does not touch my eyes, due to the menacing thought of my best friend's reaction.

"What's wrong?" He must sense the sorrow in my soul, since he touches my hand and turns my head to face him.

"You need to know something about me," I sigh as I begin.

"Come on, you're scaring me." The corners of his lips slightly curl up, but his eyes remain wide open as he expects me to go on.

"I was born far away from here, and after I left my hometown, I lived in deep poverty until I met Ivy. She was the one who taught me how to take care of myself. I learned how to manipulate men by casually flirting with them and how to use my body to make money."

"So, she turned you into a..." Edward interrupted.

"Please let me finish," I ordered and he understood. "I owe her..."

"You..." he said with anger again, but he stopped. "Sorry."

"I might have been dead by now if she hadn't helped me. And no, I'm not a whore, neither of us are. It is true that we sleep with men in order to get what we want, but who doesn't? I mean most housewives are not in the mood to have sex at all times, but they do it for the sake of the family." He is restless on the bench, as if he was fighting against himself. "We are just different because we only accept the gifts that men offer to us." _Even if it is their youth and life._ "And before you would add anything, I don't like this life. But it is all I know. It is who I have been for long years. I want to end it, though... as soon as I can." He holds my hand, but does not say a word, since I have not finished yet. But I do not dare to look him in the eyes anymore. "But Ivy won't let me. We depend on each other, and I can't leave her. She will do all in her power to keep me on her side. That's all. You can leave if you want." I turn toward the ocean with my eyes closed not to see him leave, but his soft hand touches my cheek as his lips caress mine.

"I'm not leaving. And I'll take you away from her. There is nothing she can do to make you stay if I can protect you from her," he says with the warmest voice I have ever heard, so I start to weep.

"It is not me I am afraid for. It is you. She would destroy you in every possible way."

"What? There's no way!" He laughs, until he realizes I am serious.

"You have no idea what she is capable of. She can ruin your life if she knows she can hurt me with it. We have a tough life, though she would never admit this to herself, and it would be impossible to do it all alone."

"Don't worry about her now. Let's just enjoy our lunch. She can't hurt us here."

His words are comforting, but he has no idea what he is talking about. If Ivy knew what I was doing, she would burn this place to the ground. _How could I let her control my entire life? _I have the exact same powers. And if she needs me so much, then I must be able to do something more than she is. This thought is comforting, but I still don't know what it is, so she could easily kill Edward just because he loves me. And because he could make me strong enough to leave her and have the life I want. I just need to be free to choose who I sleep with, where I live and what I do. I know that Ivy means well and she thinks she does the best for me. But she does not realize she has no idea what I really need. In fact, I might not even know what I need. Edward does, though. He can feel it, and he even gives it to women. And he is right here with me, risking everything he has. Even the thought of losing such a great guy is breaking my heart.

"What's the matter?" he asks as I am fighting against my tears. "You're safe with me." He grins while he is trying to look at me in the eye. "And Barker is here to protect you, as well."

It might not be the best joke I've heard, but it finally got to distract my thoughts, so a laugh of relief leaves my mouth at last. And Edward is not the only only one who strives to make me happy. Barker keeps on poking my hand with his nose, until I finally give in and pat his head, but Edward looks restless.

"What's wrong?" It has been my turn to ask him.

"I have a meeting in an hour. I have to go." As he looks at me, his eyes are wide open, so even if there was something to blame him for, I could not be mad at him. And when I even feel his hand touch mine, I practically melt inside. I don't remember when was the last time somebody held my hand. Maybe my father, or my first boyfriend... my only boyfriend.

"Can I see you later?" he asks when we have got back to his car.

"It would be great." I grin at him, but I remember the possible consequences. "But you can't. It would be too dangerous."

"I thought you'd say that," he says with a mysterious smile, as if he had something on his mind. "Then could you close your eyes for a moment?"

I do as he wishes, so his soft lips touch mine in a moment. They do not only please my body, but my heart and soul, as well. They feel like silk, since they are smooth, but not wet, and he does not force his tongue in my mouth either. He waits for me to be ready to let him in and start a passionate dance in our unified mouths, as our breathing gets heavier. His hands are caressing my back through his shirt, while he is holding me so close that we could melt into one. All I can hear are the waves of the sea and his breathing. But when he slips his hand under the shirt, I suddenly come back to my senses and back away. I should not go on. I have to let him go.

So, seeing his questioning look, I smile at him and give him a quick kiss of goodbye on his lips. As I step back, I keep on looking deep into his eyes with a sad look, then unbutton his shirt slowly, even though I have no intention of teasing him. As I take it off, the light sea breeze plays with my hair for a moment, and he clears his throat when he tries not to ogle my body at all, but I can feel his eyes on me as I am swishing back to the beach.

No man has ever been able to touch me so deeply, with purely his attention. He is my destiny, regardless if we are doomed. I want him. He makes my day every time we meet, or even when he has no idea I am nearby, watching him. If he was a drug, I would be addicted to him already, since I have no chance to live without him. Maybe I will end up dead anyway, but I don't care. I have had enough of this miserable life, even though it has been way longer than I wanted as a child. If it is over in a day or a year, it does not matter anymore, as long as I can be with him.

Back in the house, Ivy has been waiting for me in the living room, which brings me back to reality. She is fidgeting with her fingers and searching my eyes for a clue about how I feel. But when I give her an honest grin, she does not react in the way I would expect.

"What is going on? You look different."

She knows me too well to ignore a hundred-and-eighty-degree change in my attitude. But why is that a problem for her? She must suspect that I have done something other than swimming. _Do I have to start lying to her continuously?_ I must tell her something if I do not want to risk her stalking me. I know how far she is willing to go in a wary or even vengeful mood. I could never leave her, that is for sure. _Go ahead, Bella, come up with an explanation, NOW!_

"Oh, there was such a cute guy at the market restaurant today. I jumped in for a quick salad, and he kept on telling hilarious jokes while we were waiting."

"Hold on! You went there in your bikini?"

_Oops, she knows I always put on a dress when I eat out. _"I just jumped in for the food itself, but I ate it at the beach." _That was quick. I hope she stops grilling me now._

"Okay, then I guess you're not hungry anymore. I ordered in for us," she says in a weird way, as if she knew more than what she tells me.

"Maybe later. I need a nap now." The truth is that I just want to get away from her before she goes on with questioning.

"It might be too late by then. I am tired, and I just bought a new car, so we need money. We must go out tonight," she commands.

"Already? I thought we would have some pleasant time alone." I feel as if I was dropped from heaven to hell.

"I am responsible, so you can have fun without a prey, but I need company when I find mine. Please?" She sounds a lot nicer now that she needs a favor, so I only nod to give her my approval. So I leave her not to be alone, but to get ready for the terrible night.

I am getting fed up with these parties. I know I should enjoy them, but I am not in my twenties anymore, and besides, it feels like a long foreplay before the real torture begins. It is work, and not one that I like. I have to act like the perfect prey, and let almost all men hit on me, then come home alone, or with one of them. Tonight, even the opportunity of sleeping alone later is comforting, but I can never be sure of Ivy's current mood.

I end up in black shorts and a long, burgundy top, which look hot with stilettos, but hopefully, they are casual enough not to catch too much attention. If Ivy saw a potential prey for me, she would not let me go without him. She would not care if she promised me I could sleep alone. I respect that she knows what she wants and how she can get it, but I hate that she uses me as a prop or even a tool in most cases.

"Ready?" she asks as I step into the living room, but when she looks at my outfit, she looks appalled. "We're not going to the market, or hiking in the mountains. Could you put on a normal dress?"

"Why, you said you need a prey, and all I should do is be there with you," I say with as much calmness in my voice as possible, but she feels I am fighting against her constant control.

Probably this is why she even expresses her dominance in her new purchase – a black Hennessey Venom – on the way to the karaoke bar. It is true that this car runs like a dream, and its immense power is in Ivy's hands now.

"What do you think? It was so worth the price. I never thought I could get one. You know, these are rare treasures, indeed. Isn't it the most comfortable sports car you have ever tried? I simply fell in love with it." And it is the last sentence she said under 200 mph. "I know you're not in the mood for a guy right now, and I also know that I am the one who spent all our money on a car, but we really need a man now. So if you can, please help me with it." Her words might be nice, but not the arrogant tone that she is using. I have no choice. If there is a wealthy guy, I must seduce him. I hope there are none of them in those cheap bars we usually head for.

We are heading for an expensive neighborhood, though. And when she finally parks the Venom, we are at the foot of the hills. She has made a reservation in The Viper Room months ahead. I am no fool, she must have planned to buy this car, as well. There are too many coincidences. She has known what she wanted all along. This is the last one. I am fed up with her. I will date Edward and leave Ivy as soon as possible.

"Come on, we only have ten minutes." She grabs my hand and pulls me toward the back entrance. In the restroom, we do not only check our makeup, but we also agree upon the songs we both know, since the current group needs to know them ahead of time to play live for us.

The place is darker and a lot more crowded than the bars we are used to, but it also has a great style, and a lot of potential preys. I am intimidated in the beginning, but when I realize I have a power that they do not, I feel a lot better. What only makes me feel uncomfortable is the way Ivy is using my body during our performance. She keeps on rubbing her butt to me and pulls my hands toward her hips until she realizes I am not in the mood for it. But as soon as I start to think that we can sing together but dance separately, I can feel her tits pushed to my back. She always does this when we need a wealthy man, but it is too much for me this time. I just can't wait for our songs to be finally over.

I head for the bar to get a drink as soon as I can, and I start a conversation with the bartender on a break, who happens to be a woman. I don't remember the last time I could talk with a woman other than Ivy. It is so refreshing, even though it ends soon.

"I got him, we're leaving," Ivy touches my shoulder, so I must say goodbye to the girl. "Mark, this is Bella. Bella, this is Mark," she introduces me to her guy in a loud voice, then she tells him something in private, and he gives me a smile I don't understand. I only get it when Ivy brings me a prey, but he would be hers. Luckily, he follows us in his own car, so Ivy has a chance to tell me her intentions.

"Bella, I know I told you I am the only one who really needs a guy tonight, but the truth is that the man who could give us the most wants you, too. And I promised he would get us both." She sounds objective and emotionless, as if I was nothing more than a designer bag she needs to lend to get what she wants. In fact, she might be touched more deeply by a bag than by me. She is so different recently. She is not as nurturing as she used to be. She must know something that she does not tell me. Sometimes I have the feeling that she is about to destroy me from the inside out, and now she is getting ready to lose me. She always wants to win, so she could never accept to be left. She would punish me for the idea itself first.

This is why I am deeply terrified by what I should expect. He will obviously get a threesome, but I have no idea how perverted he is, and what he will get us to do. Oh, my, I wish I could jump out of the car right now, but the Venom itself would grant serious injuries even at a lower speed. I have no choice. She promised me to him, so I have to spend the night with the two of them. It does not matter if he will treat us as equals or if he wants to humiliate us. We will have to please him. I hate Ivy for this. Now, I just wish we have no toys or anything because if we do, then I will be the one who they can play with, for sure. I hope this man is nice, I really do.

We get home a lot earlier than the guy – probably due to our high speed – so Ivy gets our candles and rose petals and creates a romantic atmosphere in her bedroom. I stay in the kitchen and pour a glass of wine for each of us, but we turn out to have been wrong about the man. When he enters, he is carrying two black bags that are obviously from an adult toy shop. I wish I had already left.


	7. Chapter 7

**Hi again,**

**In spite of my hardest efforts, I can't come up with a new chapter every week, but rather biweekly. Commuting to my new job takes a lot of time and energy on workdays, and preparations for my coming wedding leaves me hardly any free time, but I hope you like the final result. Let me know if you do, and even if you don't.**

**XOX**

*Disclaimer* Any Twilight characters that may appear in this story belong to Stephenie Meyer. The remainder is my original work. No reproduction is allowed without my written consent.

* * *

The middle-aged man wears an evil grin, especially after he sees me sipping my wine. I wish I had no idea what he has in his perverted mind, but based on how full those bags are, I have got the picture. I wish he bought those stuff just in case, and not to get us to use all of them. I trust that Ivy would never hurt me intentionally, but if this is the order that she gets, then she will not only hurt my body, but my soul, as well. I am trying my best to think about a comforting outcome, but when he pours out everything from the bags I give up.

Dildos of various shape, length and thickness are lying around on the couch, and he has also bought butt plugs, anal beads, and geisha balls, so he has probably prepared for a long night with a lot of fun... for himself. To be honest, I expected him to get most of these, but not what the other bag contained. A flogger, a riding crop, handcuffs, masking tape and a leash are somehow surrounding sets of red, white, and pink candles. I can hardly imagine a romantic, but hardcore threesome, but hopefully he has something like that in mind. He even takes the other two glasses of wine, before he asks:

"Where's the redhead?" I shyly cock my head toward her room. "And you stay here, I want to get you both right on this couch."

His arrogance does not hold the possibility of a pleasant night, but I am still optimistic until I hear his sardonic laugh as he enters Ivy's candlelit room. I don't even dare to think about what his intentions might be with these toys, but I am about to experience it on my body soon. When he returns with Ivy, he throws back his wine as if it was water, then holds it for me to give him some more. He eases himself in our white armchair with the red wine in his hand, as if he was about to watch a movie. Only the controller is missing from his hand, but I guess he will use it for something else.

"Come on girls! You promised me a great show! What are you still waiting for? Go ahead and kiss!"

It is hard to ruin Ivy's mood, but he managed to do it, and both of us feel the exact opposite of being horny. But Ivy hugs me and whispers to my ear.

"Whatever happens, you should know I am doing my best to protect you. Now, let's get this over with."

She closes her eyes, then touches my lips with hers, but she does not even get them wet. She knows how much I hate it. After the quick kiss, she is searching my eyes for a reaction, and as it was not that terrible, I give her a slight smile.

"That's no kiss! Do it for real or I'll leave!" he yells in the background.

"Sorry, I have to," Ivy whispers, then grabs the nape of my neck with one hand, and my waist with the other. She pulls me so close that our hips touch, then kisses me with tongue. I know we have to look passionate, but I despise when a tongue is forcefully moving all around my mouth. I do not only feel violated, but as her saliva is wetting my face around the lips, it start to itch soon.

"Redhead, take off the blonde's top." I hear the order from the armchair, so Ivy's hands are slipping down to the bottom of my top, but her tongue keeps on massaging mine. Her soft skin is caressing my back as she is undressing me.

"The bra, too! Then get rid of your dress, as well," the man gives yet another order, so she undoes my bra and lets it fall down on the floor. She slips the straps of her red dress over her shoulders and lets it land on my bra. But we are finally not kissing.

"Kiss her tits now! And you, blondie, take off those shorts at last. And if you are wearing panties, take them off, too. I need you naked now." He sounds menacing, and I already know what I should expect from now on. He will get us to torture each other. Or maybe he will just make Ivy do it to me. I quiver at the thought, but I know I must do as he says, so I am naked within a minute.

"Bite them now," he says.

"Can't she sit down?" Ivy asks.

"I haven't let you talk, have I. She can lie down on the floor if she wishes. I don't wanna ruin your white furniture." Now I know for sure what comes next, so I keep on standing. Ivy has no idea why, so she is looking at me as if she was expecting something.

"He said if I wish," I whisper.

She shrugs her shoulders, then gently bites my nipple, but it still hurts like a sting, and I know she will go on. Her teeth cut into both nipples one by one, and even though the pain is numbing me at first, I feel warmth in my loins after a few rounds. The energy that I have not felt for decades is spreading through my entire body, and I feel a deep urge to run my fingers through her hair.

"Butt on the ground," he yells again, spoiling the moment for me. I do as he wishes, and Ivy leans over me to please my tits for some more, but he has something else in mind.

"Redhead! Light the red candle. I want her to look as if she was bleeding. Pour the hot wax all over her body." It sounds like a threat, and it is still the foreplay.

"Please don't," I whisper to Ivy.

"We have no choice," she pretends to comfort me, but I feel that she is just giving me a lesson. As she lights the candle, I swear I can see a repressed smile on her face, but when she turns back to me with the flame in her hands, she is apologizing with her eyes. So, the nightmare begins.

The first drops are the worst – they burn like a brand – but if she is only dealing with one area, my skin slowly gets used to it, and it gets better. They still penetrate my soul, but they no longer hurt me physically. I am lucky I have never had to experience it before, and since I am leaving as soon as possible, I will never have to again. I just need to survive it now.

Somehow my inner thighs are getting wet, even though this torture does not turn me on at all. As the wax stops hurting me, I am on fire fueled by anger and revenge. I need it, so I would have the courage to stand against Ivy... even to fight against her if I must. She goes on and on around my tits, and with every drop, I am more and more determined.

"I said all over her body," the man yelled, so I lost my confidence and strength again as the wax burned my tummy, my legs and even my clitoris. It was unbearable compared to what the first drop made me feel like. My legs are so sensitive that I am relieved when she finally gets to my wet privates. It also hurts a bit, but I am fueled up again. And I love it. If I can bear this pain than I am strong enough to reach everything I want and to break the invisible chains that Ivy has been keeping me in for a long time.

As I close my eyes to focus on the energy it gives me, something firm slaps my face. It is the prey's rod. _Ugh!_ He must want to get some oral in the meantime. I am in no mood to see it, but even if he did not rub it all over my face, its pungent smell would be plenty to know where it is at the moment... and its salty, sour taste fills my mouth sooner than I expected. He is stretching my mouth with his fingers so wide that my skin is about to tear apart, and suddenly thrusts his tool so deep into my throat that I need all my power not to throw up on myself.

"Snuff it out and get the wax off her," he says as his meat keeps on experimenting with my gag reflex.

It is hard to tell which one is worse: the burning feeling in the beginning, or how my tiny little hairs are torn out, or how he is doing everything to make me feel sick. Luckily, he does not waste his time on me for too long. As soon as Ivy has got me naked again, he pulls her down, so we are lying next to each other on the floor, and he starts to destroy her mouth, as well. But I cannot rest for too long, and as he gets back to me, it is worse than before.

"Fuck her pussy with the red toy and her ass with the black," he commands.

"Now?" Ivy asks to win some time.

"No, tomorrow! Why do you think I said it now?" He answers as if she was dumb, so she has also lost her mood. To me, it means that she won't care about mine either.

I am lucky to be wet already because she thrusts the red dildo into my gine so suddenly and deeply that it feels like a cactus inside. She spits on the black one, since there is no other lubricant around. Even though she is as slow and gentle as she can, I am being torn apart as both toys are in my holes at the same time. I could not even tell if she has inserted dildos or knives inside me. I am no longer able to hold back my tears, but it just turns on the man even more, and he starts fucking my mouth as hard as he can. I don't want to do this anymore. This is the last time, the last man. Luckily, I do not have take much more of this torture.

"Come here," he says with one breath, while he pulls Ivy's and my hair at the same time as he is standing up. And now I know it is finally over. He is jerking his rod for a couple of moments before he starts to moan and shoot his white juice all over us. I am ready for some more sick orders after that, but he has drunk too much to hold on, so Ivy helps him stagger into her bedroom as I have fallen down on the floor.

Tonight has been way over my boundaries, and I am sure Ivy also knew what we were in for. I wonder if it has been her idea of discouragement, so keeping me here with her, or if she wanted to punish me for leaving in advance. Whatever she originally meant to do, she only made me sure I want to quit. I never want to feel so lonely and helpless again. I need to get up.

And once I have had the power to stand up, I headed toward the fridge, where we always keep some Margarita mix and tequila. I have a shot first to bring me back to the moment, and to be able to leave the past few hours behind. With the ready cocktail, I head back to the couch, throw everything to the ground, and turn on the TV to divert my attention before I could go to sleep. It takes me a while to find a nice, romantic movie, "The Holiday."

I envy those girls. It is so easy for them to change their life, and to live someone else's. I wish I could do that, too. I just want to fly away from this hellhole, and be a normal girl again. Maybe I should move back to Europe. Amanda seems to like it there, and I used to, as well. But it was a long time ago. Everything has changed since then. We could not even travel by plane, and if we were cold, we actually needed to fill the fireplace with wood to make fire. How simple it was. Now everything is quicker and easier, but I am not happy anymore. And I doubt that men who we use as preys are happy with their life either.

I need one more Margarita... or rather a lot. I am still too conscious and my mind keeps on wandering, so I do not even pour out the mix, but I rather add tequila to it. I have drunk enough to make a mess in the kitchen, but I could not care less. Ivy has done everything to make me a mess, so the house will be her problem tomorrow. I am sure she will have it done by the prey, but still, I want her to know how much she hurt me tonight.

After a couple of sips from the bottle, I stagger back to the couch to realize how nice men can be. The ones in the movie might not be handsome, but all of them are a pleasure to talk with. And Graham is so much like my Edward. Irresistible and charming, but still caring and funny. I wonder what Edward might be doing right now. What would he think about me if he knew everything? Would he leave me? Then I would be alone without a friend, a boyfriend or a family. I give way to despair until the cocktails finally kick in.

The first rosy streaks hurt my eye. I have stayed in the living room the whole night, without drapes or doors to close. _Ugh!_ I still remember what happened. I wish I didn't. Ow the best I can do is to disappear by the time they get up. But the problem is that I still have difficulties with it myself. I just want to roll down to the floor and crawl to my bathroom, but I am better than this. I only crawl to a bar-stool and push it ahead of me, as if it was a walker, and I lie down in my bathtub while the lukewarm water is running all over my body. I know I must hurry, since preys always get up early on the first and the last day, so I keep on washing my face until I am finally back to my senses. It always helps somehow.

Now I need no orange juice or pancakes, all I want is some fresh air. So, I grab my softest towel to dry myself as quickly as possible, and pick a set of my running outfits. I don't even care if the match or not, so I end up with a blue tank top and green daisy dukes. As I am about to leave this life behind, I should learn how not to make the looks my first priority, but rather what makes me feel great inside. I hate it when I live under the same roof with someone, and I still feel alone. Then it is a lot better to get away and be physically alone, as well as emotionally. And this can really calm me down.

The beach is practically empty at such an early hour. Probably everybody is still sleeping, since they have to go to work. They are about to give something to the world. They can follow their dreams and create something better than yesterday. And I am about to be one of them soon. I will stop taking and getting, but I will also give. I can have a dream that does not depend on anybody else, but me. I will have a life of my own.

The tranquility is broken by the muffler of a familiar SUV. It is slower than I would be. The driver must be looking for something... which has just been found. So, after the screeching noise of the brakes, the driver jumps out of it. And it is Edward. He is scurrying toward me, as if he had something in mind, but I still cannot believe that such a perfect guy might like me, so I look around to make sure if there is nobody else around indeed. We are all alone, and he seems to be cheered up by simply looking at me. I must feel the same, since I am losing control over my lips, which are curving as he is getting closer and closer.

And when he finally gets to me, he says nothing, just looks into my eye, as if he was seeing a ghost, but his hands hold my back firmly. He pulls me close as if we have become one, and his lips touch mine. He tastes like fresh strawberries, so I gently suck on his lower lip. It turns him on so much that he holds me even closer, and gently opens my mouth with his tongue. It is massaging mine in a way that I can tell what it would be like to have sex with him. We would not be fucking, but making love. It does not matter what he likes in bed, he might even use hot wax to turn me on because I know it would be about one soul in two separate bodies. Whatever he would do to me, he would do it to himself. All of these are felt within his kiss.

"Thank God, you're here, Bella." He is panting as he gives a kiss on my hand, as well. "I don't know what you have done to me, but I can't get you out of my head."

_Oh no, that is always a bad sign. Is he under my spell?_

"The way I had to leave you last time was not how it should have been. I got no answer when I asked you out, but I took your kiss as a "Yes." This is why I am here. Let's go out somewhere."

"Like... now?... I mean look at me, I'm a mess."

"I have my jogging clothes in the car, I can change, if that's what you mean," he teases me.

"I had a terrible night," I say with deep sorrow in my voice, as I remember was was done to me.

"But the sun is up now." He raises my head so I can look into his delighted eyes. They are not as blank as a prey's, so he is telling me everything honestly. This thought makes me feel safer than ever before. Together, we would be like a cliff that resists the power of the ocean. "Let me try to make your day," he continues with such courtesy I have not received for long years now, so I give him a slight nod as an answer.

"Where are we going?" I ask curiously.

"Do you trust me Bella?" he asks and I nod again. "Then let it be a surprise."

He holds out his hand for me, and I take it with hesitation at first, but as I realize how different he is from the men I met before, I am heading for his car with confidence and excitement.


End file.
